Behold the Stars

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
~E.M. Forster

One of the best trips I ever took was to Santa Fe with my daughter and my sister and her family. I was just coming out of the worst of the Dark Period, and I was in much need of a vacation. I hadn’t been to Santa Fe, one of my favorite places, in fourteen years, and I was looking forward to sharing it with my daughter. While making plans, I discovered that our trip would coincide with the peak viewing period for the Perseid meteor shower, during which one can see as many as 60 or more meteors per hour. Santa Fe, at about 7,000 feet and without much ambient light, is great for viewing celestial phenomena like the Perseids. It was going to be a great trip.

And it was. We enjoyed beautiful, sunny days visiting the museums and galleries around the plaza, hiking in the cool shade of the aspens near the ski valley, walking through history at El Rancho de las Golondrinas, and hanging out and enjoying each other’s company. But back at the house each evening, I would settle in — armed with astronomical charts, timetables, and other information — and expectantly await nature’s show, only to find myself staring at the pale gray of an overcast sky. Every day brought the same pattern: clear sunny days followed by completely overcast nights. In an entire week, I didn’t see a single meteor or even a star. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

When I got back home, friends asked about my trip. How did I tell my friends about that trip, that trip that was, in every way but one, one of the best trips I’ve ever taken? Why, by telling the story of the meteor shower, of course! I spent tons of personal energy thinking and talking about how disappointed I was. “It would have been great. “I had prepared myself with reading and charts…” “I don’t get up there that often…” Blah, Blah, Blah. I spent so much time thinking about that stupid meteor shower that I forgot how wonderful the rest of the trip was.

That wasn’t the first time for me. No, I had a long history of whining about things that didn’t meet my expectations. If I didn’t get exactly what I wanted, I became the biggest complainer ever. It didn’t matter how great things were going. When things weren’t what they were supposed to be, not only did I not like it, but I refused to like it. I was a pain to everyone around me, and I tainted all my experiences with negativity. My inflexibility made my life miserable. Since I had expected everything to meet my expectations, I was continuously disappointed by life.

What about you? Are you so preoccupied with how things were supposed to be that you’ve completely missed the great things that are? How boring our lives would be if we always got what we wanted, and how many great things have happened to us precisely because we didn’t get what we wanted? For example, you interview for a job, but are passed over. Bad. The hiring manager, however, sees something in you and creates another — better — position for you. Good. Or this: You are dragged to a party by friends only to meet the girl/guy of your dreams. It happens all the time. More realistically, you are dragged to that party by friends, don’t meet the girl/guy of your dreams, but have a pretty good time anyway.

You know what? Life can be pretty good if we let it be. This week, let’s let life be pretty good. Let’s stop thinking about what should be or should have been, and pay attention to all the great things that are? Okay?
Make a great day.