Simply, Keep Going November 17, 2008
Posted by beholdthestars in Life & Living, Quotations.Tags: depression, Lake Windermere, Merchant Ivory, survival, Windermere, Winston Churchill
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Years ago, I spent some time hiking alone in England’s Lake District. You’d recognize the Lake District from any English travel brochure or Merchant Ivory film you’ve seen – green hills dotted with sheep and criss-crossed with stone fences. My plan was to walk from Windermere, where I had spent the night, to a nearby town where there was to be a bed and breakfast and another warm bed (and, of course, breakfast).
I walked from my hotel down to Lake Windermere, rode a small ferry across, and headed off. The weather was sunny and cool, perfect for hiking. After crossing, I followed a trail that ran, it seemed, straight up the mountain, no switchbacks. The English are a hardy bunch, apparently. I walked on and on, occassionally running into locals out for a day hike. We’d stop and chat, and they’d tell me the history of, or recommend, one local landmark or another. I’d thank them and go on my way. As my hike went on, I saw fewer and fewer fellow hikers.
In the late afternoon, in a heavily wooded area, I lost the trail. No matter where I looked or in which direction I hiked, I could not relocate the trail. There I was, in a foreign country, lost in the middle of the woods with darkness slowly approaching. Added to this was the unfortunate fact that no one knew where I was since the decision to go to the Lake District was done on a whim after I got to England. Tired and frightened, I found myself in a low-grade panic.
With my fear-addled mind spinning, I tried to figure out what to do. I was near the crest of the hill when I lost the trail, so any time I was going downhill was probably the right way. And I wasn’t in the middle of deepest, darkest Africa. There would be a road or a town within a couple of miles in any direction I chose. All I had to do was walk downhill in any direction until I found a landmark. Okay. I headed straight through the woods in the general direction of the next town. After an hour or so I found a trail, the trail led to a road, and the road lead ultimately to the town I had set out for. It turned out that the B&B I had counted on didn’t exist, but by that time I didn’t care.
My Dark Period worked that way for me. Lost and alone during the worst parts, I tried everything — counseling, psychology, philosophy, religion, and exercise. I must have read half the books in the public library, but nothing really made any significant difference. I kept going, though, putting one foot after another, sometimes crawling on hands and knees. It wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t heroic, but I kept trying. Then one day I was out.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
~ Winston Churchill
When I realized that I had come through, I found myself trying not only to understand what I’d been through but how and why. What had made the difference? Winston Churchill had it right when he said, “When you are going through Hell, keep going.” I have no doubt that my efforts had a cumulative effect. Each book, each effort, was another step on the path. But I think what made the difference was my willingness to get up each morning and try to make it through another day.
Do you want to know how to pass through the Valley of the Shadow of Death? By walking out.
Make a great day.
Photo: magnusfranklin
Tip #31: Limit Your Use of Instant Replay November 9, 2008
Posted by beholdthestars in Tips.Tags: graham harrell, instant replay, michael crabtree, moving on, texas tech, university of texas
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Last Saturday, #6 Texas Tech beat #1 University of Texas with a touchdown pass with one second left on the clock. Graham Harrell threw a pass to Michael Crabtree who, covered by two Longhorn players, amazingly managed to catch the ball while remaining in bounds and run it into the end zone. An exstatic Texas Tech crowd poured onto the field.
But wait a minute! Was Crabtree in bounds? Let’s look at the instant replay. The availability of instant replay allowed us to see that Crabtree was clearly in bounds. Touchdown. After the game, Texas Tech fans could rejoice while watching that play again and again on instant replay.
Instant replay is a great thing. It allows us to review our performance in a million situations, and that process of review helps us to learn. Remembering what fire feels like keeps us from touching the stove again. Remembering what happened the last time you mouthed-off to a big drunk guy in a bar keeps you in line the next time. And instant replay can bring us pleasure. Imagine how Harrell and Crabtree feel each time they remember that play. But if we aren’t careful, the ability to replay can allow us to dwell on our mistakes.
A couple of weeks a ago, an out-of-work friend told us about a recent job opportunity that he felt he had lost because he had said the wrong thing during the interview. He wondered aloud what it said about him and the interviewer, the company, and today’s job market. He wondered how he could have handled it differently. Here he was, weeks later, repeatedly replaying his error, analyzing the dynamics of the interview, and seeking guidance and solace from the group. He seemed to be endlessly spinning his wheels trying to change something he can’t change: the past.
When we endlessly replay our errors, we deny the reality of our past. That keeps us caught in a past we can’t change and keeps us from focusing our energy on what we’re doing now. When our friend Tom replays the conversation with his girlfriend the night she left, subtly changing his responses until he gets his mind’s version of her to see things his way, it’s as if he secretly believes that if he could get it just right, the new perfected scene will replace the original one in his life. But that won’t bring her back. We get second chances — Tom’s girlfriend might come back — but they don’t change what happened the night she left.
We can take a lesson from the football teams. Players watch the replays, learn the lessons, and then move on. If a defensive player misses a tackle that leads to the game-winning touchdown by the opposing team, he doesn’t spend the next week watching the films of that missed tackle. With a game next week, he simply doesn’t have time to worry about the past. He goes out and practices tackling, and if he has a good coach, that coach will keep him focused on what’s coming up, not what’s already passed.
So when you blow it — and you will — take some time to review and learn what you’ve done. That’s what instant replay is for. Then move on. Focusing on the mistakes of your past can only weaken you. Accept that you aren’t perfect and start preparing for your next victory.
Make a great day.
Photo: fdecomite
