The Whisper of Okayness February 26, 2008
Posted by beholdthestars in Life & Living, Links, Positive Thinking.Tags: Charlie Brown, fulfillment, happiness, Peace
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Last night I read a very nice post called “Late Afternoon” over at the blog House of Apollo that got me thinking about a post I’ve been planning to write. Here’s a taste of his post:
People are coming home from work and families are reuniting. This is what you worked all day for: To come home, relax, slow down, and spend time with the people you love doing the things you enjoy. It really is quite worth it. I don’t kiss my wife as she gets home like in the movies, but she kisses me with her voice as she brightly says hello, as if totally happy to see me.
I take in this quiet moment because it makes me smile, it really makes me quite happy. Sometimes I wonder if one of the big secrets to happiness is just slowing down and breathing in deep.
Helios Apollo, House of Apollo
We chase stimulation and larger-than-life experiences. We play video games, talk nonstop on cell phones, watch movies with car chases and explosions, and listen to ipods. And when we talk of happiness, we and the self-help gurus discuss it in the same terms: Slam! Bam! Exciting! Breathtaking! The sensation of happiness, we say, is tantamount to the rush of skydiving. As a result, we run in circles in search of increasingly more intense experiences. Oh, we succeed — we have more and more extreme experiences — but we never seem to find happiness.
This is where Helios Apollo is on to something. Happiness isn’t about more and more intensity, but just the opposite. What we’re searching for, and what we find the wise and the peaceful, is a sense of okayness. We’re okay. Life is okay. In the future, we’ll be okay. True happiness, it turns out, is much closer to Charlie Brown’s “Happiness is a warm puppy” than living permanently in the emotional state of just having won the lottery.
To find that sort of okayness, though, we have to turn off the noise. We have to cut the internal and external chatter enough to see what’s both around us and within us. It’s not easy though. If we suddenly reduce the noise in our lives, we’ll experience the kind of rough shift of gears that leaves transmissions smoking on the side of the road. Better to reduce gradually, wean ourselves off the drug of constant stimulation like a reformed junkie,and give our spirits the chance to adjust.
Today, let’s reduce the noise in our lives, and let’s pay special attention to what’s left behind after we do. We may learn something.
Thanks, Helios Apollo, for reminding us.
Make a great day.
Photo: Medmoiselle T
Tip #12: Stop Using Your “Depressed” Stance. January 31, 2008
Posted by beholdthestars in Life & Living, Positive Thinking, Tips.Tags: Charlie Brown, depression, happiness
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This is my “depressed stance.” When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you’ll start to feel better. If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve got to stand like this.
~Charlie Brown
Do you have a “depressed” stance? How about an “angry” stance? Or a “miserable” stance? Or a “stressed” stance? I bet you do. We all have certain mannerisms and behaviors that we use to reflect certain states of mind. When we’re happy, we stand tall, smile, move quickly, laugh easily; when we’re down we slump, move more slowly, and avoid eye contact.
As Charlie Brown says, “If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve got to stand like this.” When we are in a bad mood, we can actually accentuate our misery by taking on the mannerisms of a person in a bad mood. One suggestion for dealing with these moods, then, is to deliberately act counter to our negative emotions. If you feel angry, act nicer and calmer. If someone ask you how you feel, say you feel great.
“But,” you say, “I don’t feel great. Why should I lie and act happy when I’m not.” Because it can make you feel better, that’s why. It’s funny how we get attached to our emotional dramas. “I have a right to be unhappy,” you say. Of course, you do, but do you really want to be unhappy just because it’s your right? I think I’d rather be happy or at least do what I can to minimize those things that make me unhappy than claim my right to be miserable. Been there; done that.
If you get the chance to be unhappy today, try acting happy instead. See if you can fool the people around you. You might just find that things aren’t really so bad after all.
Have a great day.
Behold the Stars 